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Delete this at your Peril (hilarious email exchange) Part 4


From: Bob Servant
To: Jack Thompson
Greetings my dear, dear friend. Jacky, there seems to have been
another misunderstanding. I looked at the website that is listed on
the photo of the lion you sent and it belongs a Boston-based author
and nature lover.
“I’m Tony Northrup. I live with my wife and cat in Woburn,
Massachusetts, which is about 8 miles North-West of Boston”, he
states quite clearly on his site.
Now Jack, I’m not sure if I can see the connection between yourself and Tony. Perhaps you sent the wrong photo?

From: Jack Thompson
To: Bob Servant
Hello Bob,
You are getting this all wrong Bob. I didn’t say that was the exact
lion, I only gave you a clue on how the lion I will send looks like. If
you want to see the exact lion I will send you must give me time to
take it and scan it.
So Bob my friend you don’t need to worry over this. This is Africa
and you well know these animals are sufficient here. My brother
even rears a cub that’s a baby lioness in his house, so Bob expect
the lion’s photograph later today. You haven’t said anything about
the money I asked for? Have you spoken to your bank? I don’t think
£1,700 should take long to send?


From: Bob Servant
To: Jack Thompson
Subject: OK, I get it.

Hi Jack,
Thanks so much for putting my mind at rest and letting me know
what a lion looks like. I have seen them in the past, in books and
suchlike, so already had a fair idea but you have really helped me
out there. For example, I had it in my head for some stupid reason
that lions wore spectacles.
I look forward to seeing the photo of the actual lions. I just
popped my head over the garden wall and had a word with Frank. He
was busy cleaning out his Flamengo cage but he did say that he is
very, very excited about getting hold of these lions. He has asked
me to pass on a few questions –
Are they male or female?
Are they in good physical decision?
Do they talk?
Thank you my friend, and don’t worry, I have booked in to see the bank manager tomorrow morning,

From: Jack Thompson
To: Bob Servant
Subject: URGENT
Hello Bob,
Hope fine.
Answer to the questions.
1.   The lions are all male lions and are very healthy.
2.   I don’t think I have ever seen a lion that talks.
I don’t know if you are also interested in leopards cause my friend
works in the Government Zoo and he could find a leopard for you?
Remember to speak to your bank tomorrow.

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From: Bob Servant
To: Jack Thompson
Subject: Leopards
I have spoken to Frank. He will take two leopards as long as they are
friendly, and one elephant if you can get it? Frank is sure that he
saw a talking lion on the television once. He thinks it was either on
Songs of Praise or Bullseye. He says it reminded him of Jim McLean,
the old Dundee United manager. Are you sure you can’t get one?
I am going to the bank in two hours,

From: Jack Thompson
To: Bob Servant
Subject: URGENT
Hello Bob,

Hope fine. I can get you two leopards. They are both not adults. I will
try and see if the elephant will be possible and will see what I can do
for the lion. When you are back from bank mail me and tell me when
you are sending the money.


From: Bob Servant
To: Jack Thompson
Subject: The Full List
How are you my friend? Frank just called, he will take the following –
4 lions, 2 leopards, 1 elephant, 1 alligator, 2 parrots, 1 hedgehog.
I said you might be able to get the two leopards and the elephant.
How are you looking for the rest? And, of course, the talking lion?
Frank has a good few quid. He’s worked for me on various bits and
bobs and I’ve always looked after him so I think we should put our
necks out on this one and make sure the lions talks.

From: Jack Thompson
To: Bob Servant
Subject: URGENT
Hello Bob.
From your mail I will only be able to get

4 lions
2 leopards
1 Alligator
The hedgehog, parrots and elephant will take me some time to find
but I think I will first send the four lions and two leopards to you
before we proceed with the rest. Bob please send the £1,700 now so
I can send the 4 lions and 2 leopards to you. I think one of the lions
may talk a little.

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