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Delete this at your Peril (hilarious email exchange) Part 6

LEOPARD SKINFrom: Jack Thompson
To: Bob Servant
Subject: GO TO WESTERN UNION
Hello Bob,
Sorry for what happened to you, hope you didn’t get injured. Tell
your bank to send the money through Western Union. Money
transfer to:
Name:
Country:
State/City:
Branch:
This is my very good friend name and address that is working in the
bank. You will have to set a secret Question and Answer and be sure
to send me the answer.
As for the lions you can call them any name provided you shout
when talking to them and always use the same name. And trained
leopards like the one I have for you will wear any clothes you buy for
them OK. Please send the money today,
Jack


From: Bob Servant
To: Jack Thompson
Subject: Nearly back to 100%
Hello my good friend,
Thanks so much for your kind words. I have nearly fully recovered
from the fall and have just been chilling out ever since. I’ve still got
a large bandage on my head however, and am too embarrassed to
leave the house as then I’d have to tell people how I got the injury.
The boys would love this one. If Tommy Peanuts or Chappy Williams
got hold of it I’d not be able to show my face for weeks.
I should be OK tomorrow and will nip up to the bank then. Just a
quick question about the leopard, does it look a bit like this?
Good luck my friend,
Bob

 


From: Jack Thompson
To: Bob Servant
Subject: URGENT
HELLO BOB,
I HOPE YOU ARE GETTING BETTER. I RECEIVED YOUR MAIL, SINCE
YOU SAID TODAY YOU WILL BE GOING TO THE BANK PLEASE GO
THERE RIGHT AWAY. AS FOR THE LEOPARD THE SKIN ARE ALIKE,
THAT’S THE WAY IT LOOKS LIKE, SO PLEASE TRY AS MUCH AS
YOU CAN TO RECOVER SO YOU CAN BE ABLE TO GO TO THE
BANK. I WILL BE EXPECTING YOUR REPLY SOONEST.

THANKS.

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JACK


From: Bob Servant
To: Jack Thompson
Subject: What a Let Down
Jack,
I have some bad news my friend. I have just been to the bank and
the guy there said that I cannot send you any money as I do not
have any in my account. In actual fact, it turns out that I owe them
over eight grand. I tried to explain that I needed to send you this
money for the lions and the leopard but the guy said I was a fucking
lunatic and got the security man to throw me out.
I’m really sorry Jack, I hope I haven’t wasted your time in any
way, I can’t see how I could have, but I’m afraid that the deal is off.
Good luck my friend, and good luck with the animals. If they get too
much then you’d probably be OK just releasing them?
Love,
Bob


From: Jack Thompson
To: Bob Servant
Subject: Urgent
Hello Bob,
You see do you really still need lions and leopard? I will help you out
sending it for you free but what you only have to do is to send just
$700 or $500 for shipping it to Scotland.
If you can go to another bank to send that money to me just take the money from home and tell them you want to send that
money through Western Union money transfer to that name i gave
to you earlier on. It is easy. Do it today.
Jack


From: Jack Thompson
To: Bob Servant
Subject: Urgent
Bob?


No Reply


Delete this at your Peril
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lion with black hair

Delete this at your Peril (hilarious email exchange) Part 5

lion with black hair

From: Bob Servant
To: Jack Thompson
Subject: Sounds good
Hi Jack,
I will pass on the bad news to Frank on the hedgehog front. I’m not
sure about a lion that only talks a little, I’d like one that isn’t so shy
if possible?
Bob


From: Jack Thompson
To: Bob Servant
Subject: THIS IS URGENT
Bob: This is urgent. What is hapening?? I don’t sell animals. I only
said I could get some lions to help you. Then you say you need a
leopard and I say ok. Now you are saying the lion has to talk? What
is this madness? Send me the £1700 that we agreed imeediately.
Jack


From: Bob Servant
To: Jack Thompson
Subject: Take it easy Jack
Jack,
What does the lion say when it talks? I am just checking that it
won’t get me into any fights.
Your servant,
Bob Servant


From: Jack Thompson
To: Bob Servant
Subject: THIS IS URGENT
BOB LETS GO STRAIGHT TO THE POINT. THE LIONS AND
LEOPARDS ARE HERE WITH ME AT THE BACK OF MY HOUSE THEY
ARE FRIENDLY AND ONE OF THE LION TALKS. BOB SEND ME THE £1700 SO I CAN COLLECT THAT MONEY AND SHIP THEM TO YOU.

JACK


From: Bob Servant
To: Jack Thompson
Subject: Take it easy Jack
Jack,
Things are coming along nicely. I just need to know, for Frank’s
benefit more than anything –
What are the names of the lions? (he needs to know what to call
them when they are introduced)
What does the lion say when it talks? (Again, who wants a lion that’ll
get them into scraps?)
The bank is preparing me some forms,
Bob


From: Jack Thompson
To: Bob Servant
Subject: HERE IS THE INFORMATION
Hello Bob,
We have really wasted much time. Anyway, the information you
asked for
1.   The lion with more hair is Captain
2.   The lion with black hair is Zoro
The other two do not have names you can give them names
yourself. And as for the lion that talks it’s ways of talking are
strange. It does not pronounce words well it only makes sounds.
Hope you understand now. Bob the security company has given me
a day’s grace. This is very serious, I don’t think you realise what we
are about to lose. Let me know when you will send the money and I
will give you the info for Western Union.
Jack


From: Bob Servant
To: Jack Thompson
Subject: All looking good…
Hello Jack,
Sorry about the delay. I was round at Frank’s earlier and got stuck
up a tree whilst chasing a snake, then fell off and banged my head
on a chicken. You know what it’s like. Listen Jack, the bank needs to
know which account and country the money would be going to?I had
extended discussions with Frank at Doc Ferry’s bar this evening and
he is absolutely delighted with the way things are going. He wants
to know a last couple of things –
Can he call the other lions ‘FANCY PANTS’, and ‘BRYAN’?
Do the leopards sing, and are they willing to wear clothes?
All the best babes,
Bob
Note: Please provide valid email address, Pdf version of the Book will be sent to your email address.
[download file=”http://oddtwist.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Delete-This-at-Your-Peril-Excerpt.zip” title=”The Book Delete this at your Peril”]

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